faith

Below is my attempt to respond to a reading from Hebrews Chapter 11. Our Pastor is on vacation and asked a few of us to comment on the reading - I don't normally do this sort of this on my own.

A few weeks ago Pastor Henry asked us to share examples of those who make up our “cloud of witnesses.” Of course, I waited until last night to put some of my thoughts on paper… but it made me consider many characters in my life that have influenced my understanding of faith in God. There are plenty of inspirational heroes throughout history who have lived up to some of the descriptions in Hebrews: the imprisoned, tortured, and gruesomely maimed. However, these sorts of examples were a bit far from my realm of reality to do me much good. As with most significant life lessons, it is not the celebrities from afar who we learn the most from, but those people who we get to see up close, with all flaws apparent. It is in watching people in my life struggle with their faith that has shown me how faith is a process rather than a personality trait. 

I learned a great deal watching a college friend who decidedly abandoned all the teachings her Russian Orthodox family packed her with and consequently fell into years of great emotional confusion and physical stress. Now I hear from her as stunningly devout mother, wife and church member who is raising a family grounded in the teachings she previously had cast aside. Since I had known only the wild child, I was concerned that this was just a façade which she had built up to simply be accepted as an adult. After speaking with her however, I realized that I had been a witness to her testing the extent to which her actions proved her worth. After all the rules she had broken, her family and more importantly, her church, welcomed her back and valued her simply because she is a child of God. God’s judgment was not based on her academic standing, her appearance, her language, her associations – He took her back because she had faith and walked towards Him once again. Everything else followed; it wasn’t a drastic personality change – it was a return of faith that repaired the esteem she had in herself as a representative of Jesus.   


I believe sincere faith has to be acquired through truly experiencing life, rather than something that can simply be taught. My father grew up in a pious household as a Pastor’s kid, with strict guidelines submitting to Biblical law. Even though he went off to a Christian, Nazarene college, as a young adult his intellect would not comply with the teachings his parents’ religion imposed. He was known on campus to get into debates with professors over the validity of religion. It was clear by the books I watched him study he was always searching for some sort of practical foundation for the passionate faith he saw in his father. At times it seemed, he envied the strength it gave my grandfather and at other moments he pitied his father’s devotion to a God that so often seemed unjust. It seemed that my dad always felt unworthy of a relationship with God since he had broken so many rules. It wasn’t until my father struggled with leukemia that he opened his heart to a faith that had little to do with rules and fairness. As he spent so many hours in hospitals being transfused blood which strangers had offered and sat among children who never knew a cancer-free life, it began to sink in that God isn’t about doling out rewards for good behavior in this world.


While it was painful to watch a disease eat away at my father’s body, it was a relief to see him realize that, while he was haunted with “sin that clings so closely,” if he chose to accept God, God would accept him. I know that he had finally made this choice during our last conversation. He warned me not to follow in his footsteps but to instead, “walk with the King.”  The call in today’s reading to: “run with perseverance the race that is set before us” reminds me that faith is not about blindly following instruction, but it is a journey we make together with the Lord.