While I realize I don't have a large "following," who have been waiting with bated breath for my next entry... I am here to tell my intimate audience that I've returned to my online journal. I had hopped off for quite a while since I didn't want to withhold information - but wasn't ready to blast the unknown tangled web of ether with such personal news: I'm pregnant again! Now that it can't be so private anymore, since I look like I just downed a 12 pack, I figured I's start writing about it to whoever is listening.
I won't give a lot of unflattering details, but being pregnant gracefully is not one of my strengths. I am apt to whine a lot. While I am full of gratitude for the miracle of life that I get to be part of... it strikes me constantly that - yet again, my body is not my own. A long time ago, when I tried to quit smoking, I tried to take on the mentality that body was not my own to trash - it was a gift from God to treat with respect; as if I needed to hand it over. Well, once I started actually caring for my body (quit smokes, exercised, ate better), I got to appreciate the idea that I could be accountable for my own health & state of my body. The benefits of my sacrifices were paying off and I felt more alive. I was getting credit for a job well done. I think moms have to wait a REALLY long time to fully get the credit they deserve for what they put their bodies through carrying a kid. Some other being is in there pushing stuff around - draining the life out of me - and will eventually even ask me to fulfill my mammalian duties! Yeah - it's a blessing to take part in helping someone into the world, a wondrous synergy, a reminder of our place on the planet... but sometimes it's simply a drag to not have your body to yourself for a minute.
I just hit the beginning of the 2nd trimester which is supposed to bring back the energy, happy thoughts & motivation to look presentable... but not sure my body knows that yet. Any minute now. I do not intend to simply get on here and whine - but I needed to get all that off my chest. Next week I'll be back with something to distract myself from the cute alien baby invading my personal space.
Congrats! Alien babies are worth it.
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